The joys of childhood= the joys of reading

I saw some pictures today that took me back to some of my favorite childhood memories.

Illustration from The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Illustration from Chrysanthemum

Ilustration from Love you Forever

Just seeing these illustrations made me feel like I was running into old friends.

When I was a little girl my mother read to us almost every day. I think the first chapter book we read together was Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl, quickly followed by The BFG. 

Once we could read on our own she would take us to the library to get our very own library card and participate in the summer reader's program. We could tally up how many hours we read and then exchange our tallies for little trinkets, like a bouncy ball or bracelet, in the library treasure box.

I will always be grateful to my mother for teaching us that reading is FUN! Her efforts to give us the world by helping us master reading remind me of this wonderful mother who knew what each child needed and was willing to confront dangerous obstacles to protect them:

Illustration from Heckedy Peg

Reading can be thrilling, soothing, exciting, scary, new, and familiar. It is whatever you are in the mood for when you walk into the library. It can take you to different worlds.

The entire universe of knowledge and imagination is only as far away as your own willingness to pick up a book.

I hope that in all of our pursuit of new, flashy, fast media devices, we won't forget the familiar rustle of book pages, or the feeling of dusty air wafting past when all nestled in and ready for a good story.

And let's not forget about this little guy.

Illustration from If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Better Sleep Part 2

Well folks, the results are in!

Monday through Friday last week I turned off all screens at least 30 minutes before going to bed.(including plugging my phone in upside down so I wouldn't have to look at it again).
I slept like I had taken a NyQuil. I woke up less during the night. Usually I wake up two or three times but both Wednesday and Thursday night I slept through the entire night. I also do not remember laying in bed for very long before I was asleep.

That is pretty significant for me.

I would have done it Saturday and Sunday as well but we watched Hook on Saturday night (my first time!) and oh boy was I into it.

I fully endorse the National Sleep Foundation's suggestion to eliminate screens in order to maximize sleep. I did a little more reading on the subject and found that the reason screens affect us is that our circadian rhythm seems to be especially sensitive to light with short wavelengths, such as that from most computers and phones. This light delays the release of the hormone melatonin which regulates the sleep/wake cycle. It can take time for the body to settle down from a full day of screen-saturated alerting effects. So we really do need to plan in some winding down time before we expect to fall asleep.

Read more on sleepfoundation.org 

So my advice to everyone is to treat yourself like your own kid: make bedtime an event. Prepare for it, start early, make it something to look forward to. Put a good book within arm's reach so you can give your eyes a break from the blueish light of screens and let your sleepiness catch up with you.

If it doesn't work right off the bat give yourself a couple of weeks. Do it consistently so that your body gets into the new cycle.

I can't promise it will work for you, but it has definitely helped me significantly!

zzzzzzzzz

Over the summer I listened to a Freakonomics podcast called "The Economics of Sleep" which shared that the National Sleep Foundation (did you know we had one?) recommends that in order to maximize sleep we have to STOP looking at screens 30 minutes before bedtime.

I have had trouble falling asleep for several years now. My mind is too wound-up. The time between when my husband stops talking and when his breathing becomes deep and regular is about 30 seconds. Then I lay awake for about one more hour, just replaying the days' events or thinking about how tired I am. So when I heard this solution from the experts I thought all my problems were solved!

Then I realized "no screens" meant no movie, TV, computer or texting before bedtime. Well.

That's impossible. And I find that to be really sad! Often I am doing homework on my computer right up until I go to bed. When I don't have homework screens are so alluring--I just want to check my email, messages, instagram, or photo share one more time. I have realized that almost all of my regular activities revolve around me and a screen. Say hello to the one thing I will spend the majority of my life looking at:

Kind of makes me want to throw up.

Today I want that to change. I am tired, literally losing sleep, because of all of these screens. So tired that I am not even going to come up with a metaphor for how tired I am. So I am going to put the National Sleep Foundation to the test. For one week (I thought about doing two weeks but it made me squirmy), I am going to completely turn away from screens at least 30 minutes before bedtime.
That is means turning off my computer, checking that my alarm is set, satisfying my curiosity regarding messages, etc., plugging in my phone to charge and then reading or washing dishes or tidying for 30 minutes before laying my head down.

One week...

I can do that right?

I'll report my sleep next Monday. I'm looking for how long it takes me to fall asleep, whether I wake up less, and how rested I feel in the morning.

Do it with me!

Chick Flicks

Recently in my Media and the Family class we had a discussion on how women are sexualized in the media.

I was astounded by how much the attitudes that media has cultivated over the past 50 years have TOTALLY shaped my world and the way I think! For example when a woman speaks publicly I notice her appearance first--her age, body shape, hair style, whether she is wearing a lot of makeup, and even her outfit choice. All men look pretty much the same to me. I hardly give it a second thought.
Another example of this bias would be that when I am put in a group setting and we need someone to take charge, if there is a man available I naturally find that I vote for him. Apparently I think men are better leaders--more organized, more calm, better thinkers--even when my own marriage has shown me that this not necessarily always true. Women and men can be equally powerful and necessary to make a difference in the world.
The point that shocked me most about women in the media, which I can't believe I never really thought of before, is that there are far fewer movies with women protagonists than men. Those that do have women protagonists usually center around finding romance. I quickly scanned my brain for movies that would prove this wrong and had so much trouble finding any.
Women are portrayed as materialistic and catty:

They are no good unless there is a man in the picture:

Even when the movie appears to have themes of empowering and celebrating smart women, the plot still seems to resolve with the woman getting her man instead of just...being successful:

These Chick Flicks which always appeared so innocent and fun to me before have now become a blazing symbol of how the media is distorting our vision of what women can accomplish. The general underlying message is something along the lines of, "women are ridiculous, but they are beautiful. Even though they are kind of silly, their stupidity is cute if they also look great. If a woman happens to be incredibly talented, that doesn't do much good unless she is also incredibly beautiful."

I think the one movie that I still feel is completely realistic in its portrayal of women, that celebrates what a woman can do with and without romantic love, that focuses on her success and growth despite her appearance, or in this case, her carrot-red hair is:
You got it folks.

And that is why this is still my all-time favorite. Though Anne does eventually decide she loves Gilbert, that is not the focus of the movie. It is about how one little girl can change the engrained prejudices of a society. It is about how she can measure up to extraordinary feats because of the faith and support of two kind adoptive parents. It is about learning to accept failures and start fresh because "tomorrow...has no mistakes in it."

Instagram

This week I got an Instagram.

I think maybe technically I have had an account for awhile but I've just never looked at it before.
Anyway, someone convinced me that it was a good way to connect with friends and show them I care about them by knowing what is going on in their lives.

My first question is: does anyone else find it a little bit creepy that we all feel this need to be watching each other all the time? I mean "following" used to be cause for suspicion.

Honestly though, I've been surprised by how I do feel like I am caring for my friends more now. I am deliberately sending the message, "Hey. I care about you. I care about what you care about. I want to know what you are excited about. I like what you are doing with yourself."
I appreciate that social media can help us watch out for each other.

However, I think that it opens up a lot of other possibilities for hurt as well--even accidental hurt.
There are a lot of people who base their sense of worth on their social media status. There are a lot of fun things going on on the Internet that I might not be invited to. There are a lot of friends getting together without me. I think Facebook, Instagram, and other personal broadcasting stations can all too easily taint the way we perceive ourselves, others, and the reality of our lives. We start to think in terms of likes and friends and forget about doing real things like visiting others, going on a walk together, or learning a new skill because we are so consumed with watching what others do.

So, like most media forms I think there are pros and cons to Instagram. For one thing I get to see adorable pictures of my niece across the country all the time. But who is sitting next to me right now that I am completely ignoring because I am looking at my screen?

Rab Ne Bana di Jodi

Back in December my family somehow ended up with this mysterious Bollywood movie that has turned out to be the beginning of a full-blown fetish. We hadn't really experienced much of Indian culture outside of the Bombay House on the Ave. (100% recommended), but now I think we all harbor secret dreams of waking up Indian someday.

Watch this clip and you will understand.


There is so much vibrant color that you can practically smell the incense. The music truly lifts you and you find yourself dancing--body and heart. And the plot is the most beautiful part! The title is revealed to mean "This couple is made by God" and the movie shows through an arranged marriage how love is about what we are willing to sacrifice for each other rather than compatibility or circumstance.

Since Christmas we have now seen three more Bollywood films. Though Rab Ne Bana di Jodi is still my favorite, I really appreciate finding new ones in order to immerse myself in another culture and learn from the wisdom of other people with different lifestyles than my own.

Okay. Because I am generous. One more:

K*A*R*O*A*K*E

According to Adam Lonsdale and Adrian North (2010)* one of the main gratifications of music is to encourage social interaction.

Well it is true!

On Valentine's Day, Ryan and I were planning on going to Red Lobster, but when we got out of the temple at 6pm and called, the wait was 1 hr 50 minutes (that's five-zero thank you very much angry waitress on the phone). So we did some quick thinking and decided to go to Se Llama Peru on Center Street instead because every time we pass that place it is hoppin' and besides I served my mission in Texas which pretty much makes me an expert on Peruvian food. (wink wink.)

So we went and wouldn't you know there was a Peruvian mission reunion happening right as we got there and a whole bunch of exuberant 21 year olds were congregating outside. But we pushed our way in and the waitress seated us right in the corner behind the KAROAKE speakers, because apparently KAROAKE is what happens at Se Llama Peru on the Saturday before Valentine's Day (and hopefully all Saturdays?)

There was a middle-aged man in a sportcoat with cufflinks and half of his hair left crooning away on the microphone in Spanish.

He walked from table to table singing and trying to get people to come up and perform, and it did not take long before all three of us were best friends. I didn't even mind when he handed me a microphone so I could comfortably sing "I Just Called to Say I Love You" from my chair. I don't know why no one has thought of this before. How else do you want to pass the uncomfortable hungry minutes waiting for your food? Usually I drink about a gallon of water with too much ice in it before I get my food, or at Mexican restaurants I go through a basket of chips and salsa. Not so at Se Llama Peru. I sang and sang and sang and didn't want to stop when my Aji de Gallina arrived.

Singing together encouraged social interaction so much that I hardly even minded the exceedingly large group of RMs that were quickly overtaking the restaurant. In fact, I wanted them to join us at the microphone and cheered when they did.

My husband served his mission in Taiwan and tells me that Karoake is a really big thing in Asian countries. Apparently it is normal to pay a bunch of money to go out with friends and sing together. After my Valentine's experience, I can add this to the long list of things we should learn from the Asians (right after how to make good stir-fry and live to 100): if you want to bond with someone, SING with them! And make it so socially acceptable that you can bond with perfect strangers within 5 minutes. I think the world would be more peaceful if there was more karoake going on.

And I mean it.

*Lonsdale, A. J., & North, A. C. (2011). Why do we listen to music? A uses and gratifications analysis. British Journal Of Psychology, 102(1), 108-134. doi:10.1348/000712610X506831

Wall Street Journal

Every morning my husband and I look forward to going out to get our Wall Street Journal. As we put our sack lunches together we eye the headlines and bend over for closer looks at the pictures as we pass the table. We hardly have room for both of us at the tiny table, let alone an entire unfolded newspaper, so we have to choose the section we are interested in and put our plates on the rest of it while eating breakfast.

I've noticed that we hardly ever read an entire article--we just glean it for the general ideas because we are too excited about the rest of the paper--and once we've skimmed the whole thing it all goes in the recycling bin. Seems like a lot of work to publish a paper just to be picked over and thrown away. We have a plethura of news apps to choose from, but we still just really look forward to pulling the WSJ out of the plastic bag and plopping it down to munch on with our cereal. What is it about the daily newspaper that so attracts us? Here are some things I can think of:

• It is real--something you can touch and hold up and flip through and spill milk on. Sometimes I feel lost when I come away from looking at so many screens all the time. When I come away from my newspaper I feel like I have both feet more firmly (and knowledgeably) planted in our current world.
• It gives a sense of awareness of what is happening around us--even if the events don't really affect us at all, we somehow feel better knowing. 
• It also makes us feel like we belong with the rest of the world--it is like evidence of our membership.
• It makes us feel intelligent when we try to strike up a conversation at work.
• It has become a ritual for us; something we look forward to dissecting together.
• Newspapers are icons of the America that I love! Along with Thanksgiving, the mailman, and Norman Rockwell. Take a gander:

Plus, do you know who sells Newspapers?

So when we got the letter that our WSJ subscription was up, I didn't mind renewing it. Even though it goes against all my overly-frugal tendencies. Even though we don't scour every last penny out of it. I am happy to pay for this daily tradition with my husband and my ticket to participating in this world of ours.

Family Tree

The following information could really enrich your life:
(At least that is my goal).

I recently discovered a really intriguing, addicting pass-time. It is completely free. It sucks you in more than Pinterest, but it actually satisfies you. It is "screen" media, but ends up connecting you with members of your family who you usually can't associate with. It makes you feel smarter, more unique, and more confident. It feels like a treasure hunt and no matter what you find it is a pleasant delight. It is this website called FamilySearch.org.

Now I have known about FamilySearch for awhile, seeing as in my church we are constantly encouraged to learn more about our families and create pedigrees of our ancestors. I have had a lot of exposure to it, but up until this year I kind of associated it with feelings of dread because I knew that I was supposed to log on and search and search and search for these little green symbols that represent gaps in my family tree:

The only problem is that it is SO hard to find them in my family tree. So I didn't really like spending time on FamilySearch. However in my family history class we are doing all sorts of genealogy assignments that have nothing to do with finding these gaps. Instead we are focusing on getting to know ancestors that are already listed but in much greater depth. I got to call up my grandma in Virginia and talk with her for an hour about her parents. My uncle sent me this picture of them:

Aren't they lovely? Can you imagine the moments that created each wrinkle?

I never met them, but hearing her describe them I felt like I was reuniting with old friends. She described how my great-great-grandmother used to make a pie crust that was so flaky you couldn't even hold it in your hand.

So that's where I get it! 

She told me about their hopes and dreams and failures. She shared with me her cherished memories. I got to write the whole thing up and share it under my great-grandmother's name on FamilySearch.

I love that media provides me with a way to get to know these people--not just my ancestors that have already passed on, but my grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles still living. It brings us together. It makes me proud of all the people I am connected to, and fills me with hope and anticipation of all the joy we will share together, and all the exquisitely painful experiences we may share as well. There is something deeply wonderful that awakens in my core, way deep down, when I feel connected to my family. That must be what this life is all about.

So please, go to FamilySearch.org and create an account for yourself. You will be amazed by the details you can find; the records that evidence that these people actually existed. You will feel a new anchor in your life as you discover your roots. You will find great peace in who you are.

This American Life

I recently read a summary of studies of why people listen to music. Among the top reasons are (1) to manage emotion, (2) to provide background noise, (3) to reflect on the past, (4) as a distraction and (5) to encourage social interaction. While I was reading I realized that music has largely disappeared from my life over the past three years--mostly because when I came back from my mission it was too big of a project to move years-worth of my iTunes collection from my family account to my new personal computer. I just keep procrastinating it. But when I thought about when I would listen to music anyway, the only real time I have to just listen to something (since I cannot multi-task) would be while I exercise in the morning. And there is no way I would listen to music while I exercise because that is my "This American Life" time.

If you have never heard the podcast, "This American Life"...it is hard to describe. It is a radio show with a theme to each episode and stories along that theme. Sometimes, lucky times, there are essays or comedies added in. The show wanders in and out of these vaguely connected stories, delighting you all along the way, but the real beauty of it is how you feel connected to the people as you listen. You find yourself laughing because you know exactly the feeling they are describing, validated in your annoyance at rude strangers, or totally shocked that someone else could have been as completely geeky as you in middle school. It is an hour every week that reminds me just how much I am like all other humans--and I find that kinship delicious.

So I suppose my reasons for listening to "This American Life" are very similar to why others listen to music, such as to experience a wider range of emotions, to provide intellectually stimulating background noise, to feed my desires to be more cultural and sophisticated, etc. But mainly I just want to encourage social interaction between me and the millions of other humans out there who I may never meet, but whose existence really means a lot to me.

If you want to give it a try, subscribe to the "This American Life" podcast on your podcasts app for FREE, or go to their website, http://www.thisamericanlife.org/podcast. I seriously doubt you will be disappointed.

Life is Beautiful

Last night we watched the first 50 minutes of "Life is Beautiful" for the first time and fell in love with it. The entire 50 minutes clips along at a cheerful pace to match the personality of the main character, Guido. The plot is simple, but is interwoven with details that come up later to make jokes in delightfully surprising ways. Though we really only watched the introduction to what I expect to be a much deeper, richer story, it left us feeling enriched.

Thus far it is an enchanting story about how Guido falls in love and woos his wife, but there are ominous undertones and commentaries about the political turmoil beginning in Europe in the 1930s and 40s. The title seems to suggest the message of the movie--that despite everything going on around you, there can be beauty, meaning, and purpose in life. I am excited to finish it.

    **I have decided that any media that leaves me giggly, optimistic, chatty, and more inclined to exclaim "Buongiorno Principessa!" is worthwhile. It is even a priority when it comes to leisure time because it rejuvenated my spirit, made me grateful for the details of life, and linked my heart a little closer with my husband's just by watching it together.

The "me" in Media

Okay, so here is the problem: for my media class we are supposed to post once a week about our interactions with media. Well. We will be lucky if media and I can interact well enough to figure out how to make this post available to my class.
I suppose I will need to pick up a TV show or start checking Facebook so that I have something to blog about. For this first post I will just share some musings I have been having lately about my future with media.

1. I recognize that I can't just ignore all media, intrusive as it may be, and isolate myself. That would be kind of weird. And I don't want all of my Facebook friends to think I am weird.
2. Part of me really loved that one semester when I watched The Bachelor with my roommate. And not just because it is a ridiculous show. Something about it LURES YOU IN like when you are pouring a bowl of cereal and you keep pouring out just a few more lucky charms, hoping to get more charms than that other grainy stuff, and find that you have WAY too much cereal but you eat it anyway.
3. The other part of me recognizes that I usually leave interactions with media feeling empty and frustrated that I wasted part of my life.
4. What is the solution here? How can I use media to enhance my life rather than burn my eyeballs out and turn me into a grouchy wanna-be Bachelor contestant? Really these questions are nothing new. Humans have always sought to develop moderation and self-control. Media just joins the long list of temptations that help us develop these attributes. Just as God commands us to fast regularly in order to gain control over our appetites, I think it would be wise for us to disconnect ourselves every once in awhile, take a deep breath of unpolluted, uninterrupted thinking time, and re-evaluate the purpose of media and how we use it. It can be so loud and demand so much attention that it makes us forget everything else going on in our lives. Now, I believe media can be a great tool. I am amazed that I can connect with my family all over the globe instantly, google any question any time...also instantly, and even seek out virtuous and uplifting entertainment, hobbies, or craft inspiration...instantly. But I just hope that we don't lose sight of long-term goals and personal growth because we are drowning in a world of instant notifications. David Elkind in his book The Hurried Child wrote that the best things in life are slow. Think about it: waiting for Christmas morning, a five course Thanksgiving meal, mastering a bad habit, and the theme song from "Schindler's List". We rob ourselves if we saturate our lives with instant gratifications only.